Almost from the opening credits I began to cry. I do it every time I watch this video; perhaps that is why I rented it this week. Numb and distracted I couldn't seem to ponder, as I usually do, the internal workings of my mind and heart. I couldn't seem to reconcile with the external world. In What Dreams May Come the lives of soul mates are followed from youth, through marriage, children, the loss of those children, and eventually through death itself. "Never give up" is the byline; the strength of the knowing soul is the message. I weep to see the canons of my heart laid public and raw. Never give up. Never doubt what you know for true in your heart.

Like a dream rich in texture we are bound to the storyline and made to watch as hearts are rended in excruciating pain. First the couple must watch as their children are prepared for burial. Then weeks later, mom herself barely out of the sanitarium, must bury her husband and grieve alone. The loneliness would have been unbearable but to this she must also grieve her lost companion, her best friend, her lover and her blessed sweet children. Surrounded by reminders and objects whose shapes and textures scare her even worse, hurt her to touch (soft as feathers though they may be), they can draw blood; hearts and eyes that know no proper release -- that hold no sense of permanence or how time can heal. Too young and naive to know that this will pass; that her heart will heal.

I pull away from time to time. To dry my eyes and try to find what it is that for ME, for ME, will make it all stop pounding and aching. And I hope for a strong young man with a soft heart to hold me still and let me cry without feeling it's all falling apart. -- - - but just for a minute or two (okay maybe a little bit more); but not long, not long, not long anymore.

Gosh, what a moonlight walk wouldn't do to calm down some of these oh too fresh feelings.

Where's my coast. I need to get outside.

No need to catch me, I'm right here - hopping you - yeah YOU, will sit with me a while and light a candle, lift up a kite, lean your shoulder into mine and let me feel your presence as it calms my soul again.

If you'd rather just watch silently from the side that's okay too. I'm not dangerous, just feeling some strong things right now - and yeah, some of them come from my having just met you (virtually). 

Your smile
Your temperament
Your interest
Your lack of anxiety
Your confidence (woo hoo)

I'm not usually this direct (if you call bouncing emotionally around this web-page playroom being direct). But I think I'm getting re-enchanted again. Like surfing waves, enchantment comes and goes; so I hope you don't mind and won't blame me, if I curl my toes o'er the edge of this board way out in front and (hanging on for dear life) hope that this wave is the big kahuna and the ride will be one ride worth remembering for a looong time. Perhaps for both of us.

Last Updated: 1/21/02

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